I think a lot of people don’t understand that when we talk about these issues—blackface, rape jokes, the appropriation of marginalized cultures, and so on—we are having an ethical conversation, not a legal one. There is no thought police. No one’s coming to your house and carting you off to Insensitivity Prison. But you, as a person living on this planet, get to make a choice whether you want to hurt people or help people. Whether you want to listen or shut people out. I can’t imagine why you’d choose “defensive shithead” over “nice lady capable of empathy,” but okey dokey.
Lindy West (via lavenderlabia)


i don’t think it’s problematic for dudes in bands to hit on chicks. dudes in bands are people just like everyone else and have the right to hit on folks to whom they are attracted.

i think it becomes problematic when anyone in a position of moderate fame, or power, or whatever, abuses their status to take advantage of another person, especially if this person lacks the mental age to make a levelheaded decision (no, sjws, that’s not ageist - mental age is a factor of consideration in statutory rape cases. i can safely say seventeen-year-old me would have made poorer decisions than current me, for example. not the case for you? good on ya, you go qurl. seriously!).

i think there’s a lot of grey area because the advances i’m referring to have been online advances. the nature of the world is changing and talking online prior to meeting up in person is commonplace, so perhaps this isn’t so out of line.

is it problematic, then, that there seems to be a blanket approach to these interactions (i know three people personally who have been effected)? at first glance, i thought so. however, is this not the nature of online dating today? swipe right to as many people on tinder as possible, weed through, make somethin’ happen with however many are willing, or however many people you’re willing to make something happen with. it’s perhaps not the most pleasant reality, but it seems to be reality all the same.

the onus, then, comes down to the individual. moderately famous people, by all means, don’t hesitate to approach someone you’re generally interested in. at the same time, however, do not abuse your position. you’re blessed to have gotten where you are, and it is your responsibility to not take advantage of others. don’t hit on a girl that’s taken. that’s just shitty. respect her dudeman. more importantly, respect her and her decisions.

for the rest of us, do what you wanna do, but don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. if you’re diggin’ that man candy and he’s feelin’ you back, hell yeah go for that shit, but do so knowing that it’s on your own terms. never feel obligated to turn anyone down who makes you feel uncomfortable or who you’re just not feelin’, especially out of fear or obligation. you ain’t obligated to do anybody but you~~

that httyd post reminded me of the time i watched the first one with my little cousins and one asked me if i was stoick, to which i foolishly said “possibly, why do you ask?” and received the single finest answer i have ever heard: ”because he’s big and tall and you’re big and tall, and he’s got a beard and long hair and you’ve got a beard and long hair, and he’s fat and you’re fat”

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